help come up with a clearer thesis and then analyze primary source

For this class, I am tasked with analyzing a primary source that I will use on a final paper. The topic of the paper is related to modern greek history. I have already completed the proposal for the assignment and one of the primary sources, and have gotten feedback from my teacher. Could you please look at the feedback from both the proposal and the first primary source assignment, come up with a clearer thesis, and then find another primary source that will make sense. Once you do that, can you please analyze the primary source you have found. I will add the requirements below, as well I will attach the two parts I have already done. (IMG_3956 and 3957 are the proposal and the rest are my first primary source excercise)

Assignment:

You are required to complete one short formal writing activities on one separate primary sources of your choice. It can be assigned primary sources for the course or something you come across in your research.These exercises should be approximately 2 pages double-spaced in Times New Roman 12-point font with one-inch margins. To help guide you through the analysis of a primary source, here are several questions you can ask yourself:  What is the source? How do you categorize it?  Who wrote it? Who do you think is the intended audience?  What is the source’s context? That is, what was happening at the time to produce such a document? In your analysis, make connections between the primary sources themselves and reflect on how the other weekly readings and lecture helped you understand the sources.  Does particular language in it stand out to you, and why? Take into consideration your own biases as a 21st century reader as well as any contemporary biases the author of the source might have had.  What is the point of the source? What is the author of it trying to argue?  Why might the source be significant to a person studying this region? How might it be useful to a Greek historian? How does it help us understand Greek society or the changes in broader European history that people at the time the source was written were living in?  How will you use the source in your paper? How does the source help you better understand your topic and support your hypothesis?